Thursday, June 26, 2008

Oil Soars Past 140 per barrel


Holy Shiite Muslims!! We are all screwed and will be paying 10 bucks a gallon by election day. I'm sorry but if we don't get of de oil addiction, we are screwed as a civilization.





Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Homage to the Original Dick


Inaugural Post

This is the inaugural post of the blog in honor of my boss's colon. Obviously you guessed it my boss's name is Dick. To settle everyone's fears, no this blog will not focus on the gritty details of Dick's colon but it will highlight some of the ins and outs of my experiences within the corporate milieu: it's hypocrisies, pettiness and insanity. I will do my best not to make it merely a bitch or whine fest and will do my utmost to inform.



However, all that being said, how could I not let the opportunity to say alittle bit about my boss - Dick and his colon or even about his bladder. My boss is like his name a real dick but that might be expected [disclosure - technically Dick is my boss's boss but he runs the department I'm in and makes the real decisions that affect my bottom line so I will heretofore refer to him as my boss]. He is short (Napoleonic complex), bald, always walks around with a semi-scowl and has an acerbic wit about him. He tries to play 'regular schmoe' but somehow that is very incongruous so that doesn't really work for him. Is he somehow related to Dick Cheney - another famous 'dick'? I don't know - he isn't fat and I don't think he has heart problems but who knows?

I do know that he goes to the restroom on the order of 2-4 times an hour. First of all, the only reason I know this is that his office and the bath to the bathroom are right by my cube. To what do I attest this excessive waste removal too? The perfect storm is my guess. For one he is very short and slight therefore, I'm assuming his bladder is very tiny; in addition he is in his 50s therefore he probably either has an 'overactive' bladder or an enlarged prostate. So he either has to go alot or when he is able to, the flow is restricted by the enlarged prostate.

Obviously it sounds like more of a bladder or prostate issue than a colon but I liked the name Dick's Colon better so that will have to do. Plus being that my boss is both a prick and an asshole, I liked the name and double entendre 'Dick's Colon' better.

Wow, this will have to do it for my first post but please feel free to make comments about either this post or your own boss stories and they doesn't even have to do with their bodily waste issues either.